Edward is my name.
I like being alive and appreciate all the earth has to offer.
I like hanging out with God at my place.
I want to be a diplomat or a novelist.
If I could study one thing it'd be people.
Cheetahs are my favorite animal.
And Dr Pepper cherry is best soda I've ever tasted.

 

See you on the other side!

I’m at that bridge we all must cross after we graduate high school. I believe its the one before adulthood. I’m taking the first few steps but as I begin to look back it becomes harder to continue. I’ve yet to compromise with the past; There are a few ties still left to cut, my friends.

I’m excited to lunge myself into unexplored worlds, however I’m still in awe of the fact that we won’t be together anymore. Most of my best friends left(or are leaving) to join the U.S Army. They will be scattered across America and who knows If I’ll ever see them again? The support system I grew accustomed to is now outdated. No more laughing at ourselves and struggling with adolescence. The days we are fond of are now memories. We are all going to start our own journeys; I just always dreamed it’d be together. Meeting interesting people and beginning new friendships is what I want to do, but I don’t want new friends to replace these hardened bonds. 

We’re growing apart and I can feel it. The world is turning with our without us. When I get to the other side of this bridge I won’t be the same anymore. And I’m okay with that because I look forward to reminiscing and seeing how much we’ve grown.

I don’t understand what they’re saying but I like to think music transcends silly language barriers.

An epiphany to say the least

I’ve come to accept it, I am the unluckiest man on earth. Yet, this realization has granted me a bit of serenity. In the midst of all the haunting regrets and paranoia, I had forgotten a promise I made to myself. To do what I love.

I decided to stop trying to understand why God does what he does( hopefully it was him who intervened because if I’m responsible for keeping myself from success, I’ll be kicking myself from the grave.) I was attempting to align my actions in whatever direction it seemed God was telling me. However, I could not figure if I was going right or wrong. So, I’ve left it up to faith; my supposed trust in an almighty being should have made that obvious from the beginning.

I can quit worrying about the future. It’ll be there when I get there. I will now occupy my time with things that I enjoy doing( tried it out and for the first time in long time I was happy, the satisfying kind.) Focusing on doing things that make me happy;nice way to go about life.

Kino no Tabi, I’ll never see the world the same way again.

Kino no Tabi, I’ll never see the world the same way again.

My expression as I watched Apocalypse Now.

My expression as I watched Apocalypse Now.

The end of these days

I’m graduating from Miami Jackson Senior High on June 10, 2011. I’m graduating at the top five percent of my class which is nice( personal goal reached!) I’ve come the end of this stage in life, so its only natural to look back on it.

I look at pictures of old friends and see how they are doing in high school( facebook is convenient!) All of the pictures are filled with brimming smiles and expressions of content. It makes me wonder what they would think if they were looking at mine. I don’t feel the weight of the past four years, but it must have changed me. I may not have changed so much as grown. 

 As far as accomplishments go, I don’t think I’ve done enough( saddens me a bit.) There are people in school I admire for setting the bar for excellence; I’m just disappointed I was never motivated enough to surpass it. But, I’ve made the friends and experiences to make up for it. High school would not have been nearly as memorable without the shenanigans me and my friends got into.

I’m leaving Miami Jackson as a person who can think for himself( despite the possibly lousy education, there were a few teachers who made a difference.) I’m going to make a conscience effort to live the rest of my years without anguish. As a teen I’ve learned regrets only help to hold you back and I don’t want to be an adult constrained with bitterness.

Sucks.

 ”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I’ve added this to my unofficial code of honor. I was watching the movie It’s kind of a funny story and that prayer was mentioned. I got real teary-eyed during that scene( I was already depressed when I was watching it); it was one of those moment when you feel a connection to what the character is feeling. The prayer couldn’t have come at a better time, I was sad and in need of answers. What I didn’t understand was that sometimes things just REALLY suck and thats it, the end and nothing you can do about it. However, in my mind I couldn’t come to comprehend that; I’ll run my mind through a thousand scenarios in order to find a way to make things better. But, I realized I couldn’t make a difference and that hurt the most.

MOVE ON because thats all thats left. Acceptance is always the final and most difficult stage. I think when one comes to a dead-end its best not try and drive through it; its wasted effort. Its impertinent to find a way around it or a new path all together. Even now I still find it tough to accept how certain things turned out, but I’ll only be killing myself trying to fix things that aren’t truly broken.

So, if I did learn anything from that prayer it was to understand that somethings are beyond my control. Sucks -.-“.

I was a Speciesist and I didn’t even know it.

I watched the documentary Earthlings on a whim( motivated by an opinion of a friend of mine.) The documentary is about mankind’s abuse of animals. As I watched I was skeptical at what the film was showing me. The film did not hold back, It showed gruesome and terrible acts done by humans on animals. Throughout the film the message was obvious, end the animal suffering caused by mankind. It should also be obvious to achieve this would be extremely difficult.

Near the end of the documentary I was hoping Joaquin Phoenix(the narrator) would tell me the solution. Sadly, he did not. All Earthlings did was make me feel bad about the torture animals have to go through to support the current human life. I don’t believe the entire world could be reformed by watching this film nor do I believe this film has scratched the surface of human ignorance. Its a start nonetheless. If I was the totalitarian leader of the earth then I’d make it someone’s job to ensure animals are treated respectfully( I’ll probably still eat them, unless the team of scientists I made as totalitarian leader creates a suitable substitute.) 

I think we should put a stop to animal suffering. However, the solution isn’t simple. To end it would mean changing the world as we know it. Honestly, I think there are worse dilemmas in the world that need dire resolution. Still, It’d be in our best interest to get rid of the people who recklessly manage our foods. 

Objectivism…ehh not for me.

 Today in my ACT prep class( I’m not sure what the course’s actual name is but we pretty much practice test taking and other interesting topics) my teacher decided we’d learn a little about philosophy. The focus was centered around Ayn Rand’s Objectivism.

Last year, I read and studied Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead( it was my first taste of objectivism). The novel is a great read. When it comes to Objectivism I’m all for individuality, however a true objectivist is individually motivated and dependent. My teacher further explained that a pure objectivist would have to be an Atheist and essentially a jerk. It seems to me that to be a real objectivist one would have to be completely logical and unfeeling towards others, but it’d be hard knowing that humans have all kinds of emotions. This is kind of the reason why I dislike Roark from The Fountainhead( As character in a novel he’s cool and tied with Toohey and Keating as favorite) he’s unrealistic( I learned he is supposed to be, in the sense that he represents some symbol.) Can a person be completely reliant on their individuality?

I plan to study Objectvism a little more, I could learn a thing or two I’m sure.

Interesting Person #3

My friend Miguel Castillo. To the naked eye Miguel might appear to be regular teenager, but with closer observation I have found him to be particularly strange. For instance, ( I still don’t completely comprehend this) Miguel eats lunch by himself; Not because he has no friends but because he enjoys the solitude. Miguel has plenty of friends to sit with yet he stills decides to sit alone everyday. He is the first real loner I’ve ever met.

I met and befriended Miguel in our “Dual Enrollment” Sports Administration class. We were put in the same project team and slowly grew into friends. Miguel has a quiet demeanor and is calm and collected always. Miguel is transfer student from Boston, no accent. He is rather short and has huge calves. The calve’s size are a result of the years he’s spent running cross-country and track. What I found surprising is that he’s a certified computer technician. He never struck me as computer-savvy(when I told him that he got annoyed.) Miguel is now officially enlisted in the U.S Army, He’s got amazing endurance that guy. But his defining characteristic must be his diligence, he is constantly keeping pace with his schoolwork and college preparation. He plans to be an engineer one day, good luck!

Miguel is also a reliable friend. He’s helped answer a lot of my questions about college and helped get me up to speed in AP Calculus( also helpful when we play basketball, his skills make me look like a decent basketball player!) Miguel has acquired a number of traits which don’t seem to belong together; but I’m glad I’ve discovered such a friend.